Does Fear overtake your ability to make decisions? It has for me, too many times to count. Therefore, I have spent a great deal of time researching ways to overcome that fear. I have found these 4 steps help overcome that fear:
1- Realize there is opposition in all things
2- Facing the opposition in a logical way, lessens the fear
3- Take emotion out of the decision
4-Write down the question and desired outcome. *See my technique below
Opposition Does Exist
I would often allow the unknown opposition to weigh me down with fear. What if I failed? What if I chose wrong? What if someone leaves? What if I get fired? What if I’m scared? What if I say the wrong thing?
Knowing there is opposition in all things, helped me to see both sides. What if I succeed? What if I chose right? What if someone stays? What if I get promoted? What if I take the first step? What if I say the right thing?
Facing all What If’s can lay the fear aside. Often we overlook the good What If’s and then miss out on opportunities.
When I was faced with the choice of having open heart surgery, I played the What If game 24 hours a day! What if I had the surgery and I died? What if I had the surgery and I didn’t get better? What if I had the surgery and I got worse? I became mobilized with fear in making my decision.
It wasn’t until I realized there was the other side of What If’s, that I could began to seriously make a decision. What if the surgery went great? What if my Myasthenia Gravis went dormant after surgery? What if I felt amazingly better?
Too often we only see and lean on the negative What If’s.
Put On Logical Lens
I often state, ” I am a logical girl living in a metaphorical world.” Using my gift to see things in a logical state, helps me to focus on the decision that needs to be made and not the ‘What If’s’.
You can learn to see and think logically through developing some techniques. Here are a couple techniques, from Life Hack (click here to read the full article), “Successful People Seldom Worry Too Much Because They Master This Thinking Skill.”
*Dig into the meaning of words carefully. Logic is more verbal. Learning to truly know the meaning of words help
*Think before doing. Create strategies in life, learn from mistakes and try to anticipate what is ahead.
Using these two techniques can truly enhance your logical thinking and allow you to use your logical lens.
Removing emotion from decision making can reduce stress and internal burdens. Oftentimes, we have hard decisions to make. Removing our emotions from the process can help us to make a focused decision.
Forbes Magazine, Click here to read the article, “How to Remove Emotions From the Business Equation”, States 5 ways to remove emotion from making decisions.
I wanted to mention 2 of the steps: Step back and look at the decision from a business ( or different) perspective, and take breaks.
Although this article is for making business decisions, the steps are helpful with any decision and I use these two. If I am making a decision for my children, I step back and look at the decision with their perspective. Giving me a wider view and perspective of the situation. Oftentimes, I get overwhelmed by the decision that I allow it to take over our day/life. Remembering to take breaks, helps me to continue to live my life and when ready come back to working on my decision.
When I tell you I write everything, I truly mean it. Writing helps me to put my feelings down, walk away and come back with a new/fresh view.
Watch my video below, to see how I use writing for decision making.
Remember- We have the gift of agency. Wikipedia states, Agency (sociology), ” In social science, agency is the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices.” We are able and free to make choices. Welcome and use that agency.
I hope you are able to reduce fear and create more confidence in making decisions.
-Benevolent Beauty By Bobbi